<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Oh, How The Turntables by NicNack4U</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27627659">Oh, How The Turntables</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicNack4U/pseuds/NicNack4U'>NicNack4U</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>SPN Season 15 Codas [25]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Castiel Whump (Supernatural), Coda, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Season/Series 15, Short, Some Humor, Spoilers, Team Free Will 2.0 (Supernatural)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:13:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27627659</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicNack4U/pseuds/NicNack4U</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Poor Castiel's suffering only became worse. Each time the Meg-look-a-like clawed and scratched at him, they sent him images and scenes of moments long gone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Moments that Cas wishes he could take back. Siding with Crowley. The tablets. Naomi trying to brainwash him into hurting Dean. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That time when Dean stayed with Lisa and Ben. Dean had been raking the leaves and Cas just stood there, watching him. Just for a chance for a brief glimpse of the man he'd fallen for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ooh, the Empty hated that one, because it was now clawing at Castiel's back. Cas winced and hissed in more pain. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was doomed to this for eternity. Doomed to relive every worst part of his life. Doomed to relive the moments he wanted to confess his feelings to Dean.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>SPN Season 15 Codas [25]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1549549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Oh, How The Turntables</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sorry for all my angsty fics rn. I'm deep in my feels. </p>
<p>I don't own SPN, ofc.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>   From the moment Castiel entered the Empty for the last time, the Shadow did not let him bask in the afterglow of finally speaking his truths. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>No, indeed. Instead, the Entity assaulted the former angel's mind with, now, cringe-worthy moments in his and Dean's relationship. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not going back to Heaven after raising the hunter from Hell, for starters. The Shadow, now posing as Meg, smacked him rather hard for that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Getting too involved, too invested in the Winchesters' lives. Getting too invested in Dean. Those particular memories earned poor Castiel deep, bloody scratch-marks on his arms. Its Meg-shaped fingernails tore through the fabric of the former seraph's trenchcoat, deep red seeping through the suit and the trenchcoat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cas winced audibly every time its nails tore and dug through his arms. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Poor Castiel's suffering only became worse. Each time the Meg-look-a-like clawed and scratched at him, they sent him images and scenes of moments long gone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Moments that Cas wishes he could take back. Siding with Crowley. The tablets. Naomi trying to brainwash him into hurting Dean. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That time when Dean stayed with Lisa and Ben. Dean had been raking the leaves and Cas just stood there, watching him. Just for a chance for a brief glimpse of the man he'd fallen for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ooh, the Empty hated that one, because it was now clawing at Castiel's back. Cas winced and hissed in more pain. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was doomed to this for eternity. Doomed to relive every worst part of his life. Doomed to relive the moments he wanted to confess his feelings to Dean. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And, although he was suffering, although he was in pain, Castiel wouldn't give up the best parts of his life for anything.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Entity would not let him regret his friendship with Dean. His feelings for Dean. If the Shadow could make him suffer, then perhaps he could make the Empty suffer as well. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He closed his eyes and concentrated. Then, he mentally sent images to the Shadow. Images of smiling with Dean, of laughing and joking around with Dean. Moments of sharing food and alcohol with the Winchesters, Bobby, Jack, Charlie, Jody, Donna and the girls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sent images to the Entity of every lingering, longing stare he and Dean had shared. Of every time Sam would playfully roll is eyes at them and smirk knowingly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But, despite all that, the Empty only pushed back harder and sent back images of Cas saying, "Yes," to Lucifer. Lucifer causing trouble and havoc with Castiel's vessel. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dean kicking him out of the bunker that one time he was human and Gadreel was riding around in Sam, posing as Ezekiel. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of Dean snapping at him, "No one cares that you're broken, Cas!" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Shadow got a kick out of the last two memories and laughed particularly meanly at those. Cas winced and tried to fight back tears. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why," he moaned miserably. "Why are you doing this? I thought you wanted to sleep! I thought you wanted us all to sleep! So that you could." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Entity let out another cruel laugh. It nodded. "Yeeeaaahhh," it said, slowly. "But, I kinda like this better." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It threw its borrowed head of Meg's back and let out a vicious cackle, then continued torturing the former angel. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>"Dean,"  Castiel had said at the time. Dean looked back flatly, anger just barely being held back. "You asked: 'What about all of this is real?'  We are."  He had said it with such strong conviction, he could feel it in his brain, his heart, his bones. "We are, Dean."</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Dean said nothing. Only clenched his jaw and shook his head in the negative, giving Castiel a cold, angry stare. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Shadow zoomed in on Dean's facial expression in delight, then faced the ex-angel again and froze in shock when it saw Castiel not crying in sadness or in pain. No, he had that same happy, content look on his face as he did when the Entity dragged him down into the darkness along with Billie. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Speaking of Billie, </em>Castiel thought. <em>Where is she?   </em>He shook his head. Billie didn't matter right now. Proving the Shadow wrong about him and Dean was the top priority. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, Castiel smiled beautifully. His smile grew when he heard a familiar, welcoming voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hey, hey, baby bro!" Gabriel greeted Cas. He grinned mischeviously. "Mind if some of us help you out here, Cassie?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel's brows scrunched as his head tilted in confusion. "Us?" hen, he got it as he looked beside his older Archangel brother. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Standing next to Gabriel was Balthazar, Michael and Crowley. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cas then grinned at their devilish smiles. They all turned as one to the Shadow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Entity widened its Meg-shaped eyes. "Oh, sh -- !" </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>